I had set up this bipolar symptoms website to my friends, family and fans. It’s intimidating to talk about myself and my bi polar disorder, since I am a celebrity on a popular soap opera and I am afraid of being discovered but I want to prevent anyone who has bi polar disorder from doing anything rash like committing suicide, something I almost did many times. I have bi polar disorder. A lot of people suffer from bi polar disorder. Some are famous like me and others live ordinary lives like you.
My own bipolar disorder symptoms began when I was about 14. I grew up in a lower income neighbourhood outside of Los Angeles. At first, my bipolar symptoms would swing from euphoria to a terrible depression. By the following year I heard voices whispering in my head. Somehow it didn’t occur to me that there was anything wrong about that. I certainly didn’t suspect bi polar disorder.
The voices told me to do stupid things like shoplift, skip school and try drugs. I had promiscuous, unprotected sex, a typical bipolar symptom and I got an STD. By the age of 16 I was pregnant and had an abortion since I was hardly in a position to look after a baby. Afterwards my bipolar symptoms got even worse.
When I was 17 my mother decided she’d had it and threw me out. At the time I hated her for it, but now I can’t honestly blame her. Back then, she hasn’t heard before about bi polar disorder, all the more couldn’t recognize that these were typical bipolar symptoms. Frightened, vulnerable and sick with bi polar disorder, I headed into the east end of Los Angeles and lived on the streets for a year. It was hell. I was homeless and hungry. It was extremely difficult to find shelter and food. I was utterly lost. I got busted for possession of marijuana and for prostitution. I had to sell my body. Using drugs, illicit sex and a lack of self-respect are all symptoms of bi polar disorder. Then I happened to read an ad in the Los Angeles Times about auditions for a small role in a soap opera. It sounds like a fairytale even to me but I went and auditioned. Incredible, despite my sleazy lifestyle and bipolar disorder symptoms I was hired, probably because of my blonde beauty and youth. Six months later I developed new bipolar disorder symptoms: lateness on the set, forgetting my lines and using cocaine. My agent warned me I could get fired for my behaviour and I broke down crying. I told her about the bipolar symptoms and the abortion. She reacted sympathetically and sent me to a psychiatrist. After two visits I found out that I had bi polar disorder. I was totally shocked. In spite of mybipolar symptoms it just didn’t seem real! Right away I went on medications for bi polar disorder including mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics. Slowly, my bipolar symptoms vanished. I became a new woman in my personal and professional life. I got married to a wonderful man. I took my career much more seriously and I got a bigger role on the show. I desire to remain anonymous. Living with invasions of privacy, became a part of my life. However I rather leave this dark side of my personality out of the gossip columns and the media exposure. Having bipolar symptoms is not disgrace, but it is not something be proud of either. There are still ignorance and prejudices concerning bi polar disorder. I would like to be valued for my qualities and talents rather than being stereotyped as the “bi polar disorder star”.
My massage for you is clear: If you think you may have bipolar symptoms, I urge you to get help. If you have bipolar symptoms, don’t wait because your life will only get worse. My bi polar disorder fellow-sufferers: There is hope for a better tomorrow, but only if you seek help for yourself today. Good luck and God bless!